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My Faith Crisis & My Why

You Are Amazing! Soar My Dear.

 

Post Mormon. Exmormon. Ex religious. Life After Religion. Faith Crisis. Yes? I get it.

When I was hit upside the head with own personal faith crisis, I felt so alone.

I didn't know who I could talk to about my doubts. I was scared.

I started with my bishop and he told me that the doubts I was having were from satan. I left his office feeling even more boggled than when I walked in.

Satan? Really? Ugg. 

Yeah, this was not going to end well.

At this point, it was probably 2003/4 and I hadn't even started my deep dive into mormon history at this point, I just had "doubts."

2006 is when I jumped off the high dive, ALL IN.

There was no CES Letter at the time. I just started reading everything and anything I could get my hands on. I was on a mission to learn all I could about the church. I mean, it was true and so nothing that I read could really prove otherwise.

LOLOLOLOL (insert the BIGGEST eye roll here)

Yeah, you know what I mean.

I remember feeling more alone than I ever had before. I felt like an alien in my own home, my church, family, extended family, and with my friends.

I felt like people dismissed me, brushed off my thoughts and feelings and didn't take me as seriously. I felt marginalized when I did bring up what I was discovering and I would be told to pray harder, obey more, just have faith, and all these questions would be answered in the next life. yada yada yada.

No, that was NOT going to cut it.

I wanted to be taken seriously. I was being serious and my questions could not be answered.

No, I didn't want to go sin and drink and have sex and be wild. I was perfecting fine keeping all the commandments, covenants, life choices I made, all that I had been taught, if it was true. I was on a truth hunting mission. I wanted to know if the church was true. I was way beyond needing to read my scriptures more, pray more, have more faith. I had done that for 36 years.

Does this all sound familiar?

The whole reason I do what I do is that you know you are not alone.

I have walked this road, I felt all the pain. I know it is real and I will never marginalize you, make you feel crazy or dismiss anything you are feeling as you walk this path.

You are opening a door to the unknown and walking through it EVEN THO you are scared as hell.

You are not alone.

You are not crazy.

You ARE smart.

You ARE brave.

You ARE beyond amazing.

I am thankful our paths have crossed. When we meet, I know that we understand each other. 

I love when you ask if I am Soul Searching Girl (a reference to my early youtube videos.) We immediately understand each other. Our connection is real. We "get" each other.

I know you straight away and I love you.

Stand tall my dear. You have done nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are following your own intuition. You are trusting yourself. You are one of the bravest people I know.

Thank you for showing up in my life.

Together, we got this.

I can't wait to walk this journey with you. Guide you for a few steps along the way.

I am always here.

Amy 

amyloganlife@gmail.com

Your Faith Crisis & Your Apple Cart
Your Faith Crisis. Your Apple Cart

We like our apple cart (life) to be all organized, shiny, and clean. Or maybe for you it is disorganized and dusty. Both totally okay.

We know where everything is in our apple cart. We like it. It works. It has worked for you for years. You are very used to how it is and therefore, how it "should" be.

When you have a faith crisis it is like someone comes inturns over your nice little apple cart that was sitting there minding its own business, doing its own thing, moving along nicely. Not only do they turn the cart over, they smash all the apples and kick a few around.

Got the picture?

Your brain is confused and trying to make sense of what happened. You feel a range of emotions, some off the charts and some just bewilderment, like WHF just happened to my life.

You may sit there and cry. You may get angry. Etc. I actually recommend that for a time. It is good to be in the muck of it all for a bit.

Eventually, you get to the point that you need to get this figured out.

Then, one day, you get up, look around and decide you are going to put it back together the best you can. You may leave some parts out. You may find a new color for you apple cart. You may decide you do not want an apple cart anymore and you are going to go find something completely different.

Life is messy.

Can you find beauty in the rebuild?

Can you see that this is all happening as it should, perfectly, just for you?

When we have been raised to think ONE way, not thinking that way feels very uncomfortable.

Be uncomfortable.

You can’t really avoid it.

Let it be. Let you be.

How can you manage your mind around what is happening?

What if this is exactly how it was supposed to happen [ for ] you?

If this was easy, it would not be referred to as a “crisis.” It will not always feel like a crisis. One day, you will rename it.

Why not rename it now? This is the part where you get to manage all the thoughts running through your head.

Decide on purpose that this is perfect, even the messy uncomfortable parts.

Until tomorrow,

Amy xo

amyloganlife@gmail.com

Faith Crisis Life Coach and my Soul Searching Girl Journey (my exmormon story)

Awww, the journey of a Faith Crisis is an interesting one, isn't it?

I started my YouTube channel in 2012. It was a place to share my story and document some of my feelings and memories along the way.

It has been a place to help those of you who are coming up the ranks behind me. 

I felt so alone and scared, back in 2006, when my Faith Crisis (awakening) began, that I wanted to have a space for you to come and see a real face attached to the journey. 

Maybe you can see yourself in some of the stories I tell?

We are a lot a like, you and me. We are pioneers in a way. 

Leaving one's faith takes time and courage.

I am hear to listen, walk with you, and guide you through the process.

I just added these words to the home page of my site...

I am Amy and I am a Faith Crisis Life Coach. I lived through my own personal faith crisis and I am living proof that there is life on the other side. I know you feel alone and scared, but it will not last forever. Let your awakening (what I like to call it now) be the most beautiful thing you have ever been through. Sound impossible? Oh my dear, it is possible.

I really do believe that this process you find yourself in the middle of is actually beautiful. (albeit so damn hard)

You will look back one day and realize that what you are going through is actually a good thing. It is the beginning of you looking outside the box. It is the beginning of you thinking for yourself.

No matter what side of the coin you land on, you may stay, you may go, but you will have a completely different perspective. You can never look at religion the same way again, and that ultimately is a good thing.

It hurts right now, but it does get better.

Stick around. Things are really getting good here.

You are not alone,

Amy xo

What are you focused on? ~ Faith Crisis Life Coach

 

 

Okay my dear....

What do you have your eyes on? Seriously, what are you looking at?

Remember the last time you had a crush on someone, graduated from HS or college, landed your first job, gave birth to your baby, planned a fun vacation? Pick something. Something in your life when you felt all those fun feelings.

Did you know you can capture those thoughts and feelings everyday?

It always comes down to what you are thinking about.

Have you ever seen someone who walks around like they hold the secret to the universe? I have and I have even felt what that feels like too. (A story for another day.) That feeling can be fleeting, but it is possible to capture the flow of those thoughts and live your life from them.

When I start to doubt the feeling that I hold the secret of the universe in my hands, I sit back and go to the place, in my mind that gave me those thoughts and feelings. Then I hold on tight and work and life from that place.

It feels so much better to live life through that lens then the opposite lens that makes me feel sad and depressed.

You can do this too. Really, you can.

What lights you up? Follow that. Do it now. Life is way too shore to sit around waiting for someday.

You, my dear, are worth it.

~Amy